Funny Story

Josh came into the kitchen last night and said "Mom, I'm really gassy today."
"You are?" I responded.
"Yeah.  And they smell really bad too.  I can't usually smell my own gas but today I can.  And it's really smelly" he said, completely serious.
"Hmm.  Then the polite thing to do would be to make sure that you go into the bathroom when you need to have gas ok?" I replied, trying not to bust up laughing. 
"I know.  I'm never having the schools mini corn dogs again!  I had them for lunch today and that's why I have so much gas and why it's so stinky.  Next time I have school lunch and they have mini corn dogs I'm getting the chicken nuggets instead."

Josh has decided that he wants to play basketball this year. I asked Mike if he could kind of give Josh some pointers and teach him how to defend and just go over a few of the rules again.  He did and he and Josh spent the morning guarding and blocking and dribbling the ball.  I was optimistic.  Then he had his first game.  He hasn't changed much since he first started playing organized sports. It wasn't too bad though.  They play man to man and to help the kids remember who they have to guard, they each get a colored wristband.  Then they have to guard the kid on the opposite team that has the same color wristband as them.  Genius!  Well, I found out that Josh listened to Mike during their practice session because he was guarding his kid like none other during the first quarter.  It would have been great...except he was doing it when he was suppose to be on offense too.  Oh well, it was kind of cute. 

For Christmas Josh got a very special bey blade, Twisted Tempo.  He was so excited and was thrilled to take it to school with him on Thursday.  Friday he came home from school and I could tell something was bothering him.  He said it was nothing and then after I asked a few more times he broke down crying.  He had lost his beloved Twisted Tempo.  He said he was playing with it outside, then put it in his pocket and ran over to play something else with some other friends.  When they were lining up to go to class, he checked his pocket and it was gone.  He said he went back to look for it and that he even prayed for help but he couldn't find it.  I felt so bad.  I don't know how I'm going to explain to him why his prayer didn't get answered since up til now, they all pretty much have been.  I bought the bey blade from ebay and it came from South Korea but it only cost $9 total so I could totally buy him a new one and not think anything of it, but I don't feel like that's the right thing to do.  Dang it!  It would be so much easier than having to see him look sad when he talks about it.  I guess he has to learn to take better care of his stuff blah blah blah but it's still tough.  He has handled it very well though and I'm proud of him for that. 

Josh sure is a funny kid.  It's a good thing I have a phone that I can easily type on so that I can keep track of the random things he said.  So here they are in no particular order.

Me: Josh , you're cute.
Josh : Cute is not a preferred word to boys.  More like handsome.

Josh : Kevin is coming to dessert Sunday?  Heesh! Is he trying to get to know EVERYONE in the family?

While watching a show about some Saints (in whatever country Germany invaded) needing to give their potatoes to the German Saints right after the war, one German lady states that she still thinks that potatoes are good.  Josh  says "She's right you know."
"Really?" I say, thinking he's going to offer up some super spiritual insight.
"Yep, potatoes are really good.  Especially as potato chips and french fries."

Josh:  I got it right off the dot!!

Josh: Mom, do you want to hear the new version of Santa's naughty and nice list?
Me: Ok....
Josh : Creative-naughty.  Survival-nice. 
*I still have no idea what that even means.

Josh has started playing a game called Terraria and is loving it.  The other day he came to me and said "Mom, do you know that Terraria is actually older than Minecraft?"
"Nope, I didn't" I replied.
Josh rolled his eyes and said "Probably because you don't know your game play legacy."


This morning I was telling Mike about all the hot flashes I had last night and saying how if this kept up I'd have to take a shower every morning because I was sweating so much.  Josh was listening and piped in saying "I got hot under my blanket when I was watching tv last night.  Then my stomach started growling.  That always happens right before I start sweating."