The past week has been pretty miserable. I've been in pain from cysts/endometriosis since last Thursday and I was hoping that I'd be all better to go with Mike to see Brian Regan perform last night, but that wasn't the case. I finally had to text Mike and tell him I couldn't go and that made me start crying. It just didn't seem fair. Josh was doing his homework and stopped to ask me what was wrong. I told him that I wasn't feeling good still and that I was disappointed that I couldn't go with Mike to the show. Josh gets a sad look in his eyes and says "maybe you should have the surgery so that you won't hurt anymore."
I look at him through my tears and say "But if I have the surgery, we can't have anymore kids."
He just kind of looks at me like...so?
"Didn't you want to have a little brother or sister?" I ask him.
"Not if you're going to die" he responds. It broke my heart. Poor kid knows too much but isn't old enough to understand it all.
"I'm not going to die" I tell him. "It just hurts."
He looks back to his homework and then slowly says "Well, one day I'm going to be grown up and have kids so you'll have, like, grandsons and granddaughters and...then you could play with them." He gives me a hopeful smile.
I smile back through my tears. He's an incredible kid.
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